Rejections hurts—literally. Research shows an overlap in how our brains respond to rejection and physical pain. Why? Humans have a fundamental need to belong. “We have evolved to be part of a group, part of a tribe,” says psychologist Ben Michaelis, PhD, creator of One Minute Diagnosis, which aims destigmatize mental illness. “Without our tribes we can’t survive. When we experience rejection, it taps into our ancient fears of being left out or rejected from our tribes, which, once upon a time, actually did mean death.”
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Weddings are emotional, high-stress situations for just about everyone. From societal pressure to family drama (not to mention all that money talk!), it’s easy to get overwhelmed. And if you have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, are getting stressed or nervous from the pressure, or are worried the whole experience may be a little more than you were expecting, your excitement about getting married may be served with a side of apprehension. The good news is, with some advanced planning and some help from the pros, there are ways to make your wedding day a little more manageable.
The best way to handle the mentally trying aspects of your wedding day is taking steps to prepare yourself and address any concerns in advance. Dr. Ben Michaelis, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and author, and is also the creator of One Minute Diagnosis, a YouTube channel devoted to providing accurate information and explaining some of the most common mental health issues affecting Americans. Take a peek at his clip about Generalized Anxiety Disorder, then read on for his insight into planning a wedding when you’re dealing with diagnosed or undiagnosed anxiety.
The beginnings of a new relationship are exciting, partially because everything is brand-new. That honeymoon phase is a time to learn about your partner and put together their pieces of their personality puzzle, so to speak. Eventually, you start to think that the relationship could turn into something more serious. (Are those are wedding bells you hear?) It’s a thrilling realization, but also one that requires further reflection. The fact is there are some questions that a grown-ass woman should be able to answer about her partner if she thinks it has a chance of going somewhere more serious.
Whether you’re trying to define the relationship, contemplating co-habitation, planning a wedding, or something else that shows your commitment, you need to know the answers to more than just the superficial questions if you think the relationship has the potential to last forever. (Though, to be fair, knowing what show your partner likes to watch after a bad day can come in handy.) You need to know the answer to some of the more difficult, and potentially awkward, questions that can arise when two lives merge.
Grown-ass women can’t afford to tiptoe around important topics; they need to embrace them. The better you know your partner, the stronger your relationship will be. Here are just some of the questions you need to ask.
Many people who are a brother or a sister to someone are familiar with the fine art of sibling rivalry. Three siblings can triangulate sibling relationships, meaning one child (most likely the middle) can feel left out from the bond of the other two (the oldest and the youngest). Those who feel they get lost in the sibling shuffle are deemed as suffering from “middle child syndrome.”
Unless you work as a tour guide for haunted houses, you’re probably not intentionally giving folks the heebie jeebies. Some behaviors, however, are downright unnerving no matter how inadvertent they may be. If people step back in the elevator or give you side-eye on a regular basis and you don’t know why, it could have to do with your quirks. As it turns out, there are quite a few surprising things you’re doing that people find creepy, and you may not even be aware of them. The silver lining here is that arming yourself with knowledge is the first step to breaking off-putting habits.
There’s an old saying about how one person’s trash is another person’s treasure. The same concept can be applied to how people perceive other’s actions. It may be completely obvious to you that clipping your toenails should be done in the privacy of your own home, but someone else could think it’s completely normal to do in public. That’s why it can be a bit of a gray area when it comes to determining whether or not how you’re behaving is disconcerting to others. If you’re curious to see what kind of behavior is looked down upon socially, then check out these surprising things you’re doing that people find creepy.
A lot has changed in the six months since Donald Trump was sworn into office, both on a political level and a personal one. Bustle’s State of Our Unions serieslooks at how millennial women’s relationships with their friends, family members, and romantic partners have been affected since the 2016 election. Today’s topic: millennial women on how their friendships are being impacted.
It pretty much goes without saying that things have changed since the 2016 election. No matter which side of the political fence you’re on, you’re bound to have noticed that President Trump’s election has had a major impact on day-to-day life in America. Because Trump was such a controversial candidate, people have been super outspoken about politics both leading up to and in the wake of his election. The “Trump Effect” is super real, and you need look no further than your Facebook feed for proof, where previously unengaged friends and acquaintances are up in arms, actively protesting, raising money for charities, unfriending political foes, and debating one another over the issues they feel passionately about.
When it comes to dating, there are a lot of things that can go wrong. But sometimes it’s not what you’re doing that’s causing problems in your relationship, it’s the parents. Whether yours or your partner’s, parents can certainly have a way of butting in where they shouldn’t and can turn your relationship sour.
To get the scoop on what kind of meddling behavior to watch out for from mom and dad, I interviewed noted psychologist Dr. Ben Michaelis, who has been featured in magazines like Women’s Health, The Washington Post and Parents and professional matchmaker Susan Trombetti, who runs Exclusive Matchmaking in Maryland and has written features in Cosmopolitan and Shape.
Between these two experts, there’s a lot of expert advice that you need to pay attention to if you want to save your relationship from parental interference.
Thinking about moving in together is as exciting as it is terrifying, especially since it opens the door to a whole new level of intimacy (poop schedules are just the tip of the iceberg). And with all of the advice you’ve been getting from family and friends (unsolicited, but still), deciding if you and your beau are ready to share an address can be, well, confusing.”Because every relationship unfolds at its own pace, it’s important to define the right time to move in together largely apart from the traditional measurement of time (days, weeks, months),” says Michele Marsh, Ph.D., licensed psychologist and supervisor in the Couple and Family Therapy Department at Thomas Jefferson University in Philadelphia. In other words, it’s a decision based on what stage your relationship is in, or how your relationship is developing, rather than how long you’ve been together, she says.
A healthy sex life is an important part of a relationship, so it can be quite the bummer if you feel like you’re not enjoying sex with your partner. This can become a huge problem between couples — and is often exacerbated by expectations and stories from friends about what’s “normal” — so the sooner you can fix things the better you’ll feel.
Recognizing that there may be an issue with your sex life is the first step. But figuring out why you aren’t enjoying yourself? Well, that can be a bit trickier. Once you’ve ruled out physical health issues and things like depression, which can really affect your desire to have sex, it’ll be necessary to talk with your partner about some other possible explanations.
If you don’t, you two might grow even further apart. And that’s certainly not what you want. “Sex is bonding,” says Dr. Ben Michaelis, clinical psychologist and creator of OneMinuteDiagnosis.com. “When members of a couple have a strong intimate physical connections with each other they feel closer and the relationship bond, including feelings of commitment and loyalty are enhanced. For most, but not all, couples, a strong sexual bond is essential for a strong romantic relationship.” Read on for some signs it may be time to work on your sex life, all in the name of having a better time — and having a healthier relationship.
It was the kind of utterance that makes professional transcribers question their career choice:
“ … there is no collusion between certainly myself and my campaign, but I can always speak for myself — and the Russians, zero.”
When President Trump offered that response to a question at a press conference last week, it was the latest example of his tortured syntax, mid-thought changes of subject, and apparent trouble formulating complete sentences, let alone a coherent paragraph, in unscripted speech.
He was not always so linguistically challenged.